Unedited NY Times piece...

Dave Mishevitz is a comedian that has performed with Comics on Duty in over 20 countries including Iraq and Afghanistan more than a dozen times. Currently living in Los Angeles, he is directing a sketch comedy show with The Strait Jacket Society and is a regular at The Comedy Store...(and training for the Detroit Marathon - Go Wings!)

This is such a tough story to relate, the experiences have shaken my emotions from elation to devastation and back again in a matter of hours. I've been a rear gunner on a Striker mission, learned how to target mortars...learned how to avoid mortars, been hit on by Mujhadeen (Thursdays, what's up?), pet a monkey, sat in on brain surgery, played soccer at an orphanage, tail-hooked on carriers. And at every FOB and flight deck been met with such genuine appreciation that I never get used to it.

The troops are in a state of Groundhog Day. Dusk to dawn blending with their camouflage, so when a new face appears on base to break up the monotony it's exciting. We get the low down on what's going down and the ability to point out the absurdity of what they see everyday relates instantly. The comedy doesn't have to come from the experience of cockpits, mess halls and mortars though. Jokes about home hit...well, home with them. It's good to be reminded of what we miss, insuring we won't take it for granted. Funny is funny, so I guess you should ask them what makes them laugh - aside from being ordered to!

*Iraq's climate sucks. I was breathing in so much sand I was crapping glass for a week...drinking different flavors of Gatorade to make stained glass windows for the choppers.

*I always asked if there were National Guard soldiers in the audience. After their hoots and claps andwhistles I'd ask, "How's your weekend?" You can always tell who's in the Guard. They walk around base staring at their watch, muttering "It's got to be Monday by now!"

*The different branches, though sharing in the true spirit of brotherhood, can be readily identified by their barks. "Hoo-Ah!" is the Army's answer for everything. They take it too far, literally having 'Hoo-Ah' candy bars and "moist" wipes. You Hungry? Hoo-Ah. Want a candy bar? Hoo-Ah. Going to the latrine? Take a Hoo-ah.

*Marines are more amped. They shout, "HOO-RAH!" You give a Marine a rifle they get so excited their sperm put on helmets.

*The word outgoing is my favorite word as opposed to "incoming." The second time on stage in Iraq there was a BOOM! in the middle of my set. A soldier in the front row said it was "outgoing." To which I grabbed the seat of my pants and agreed, "Yes it was and I'm going to wipe it off."

Hope all is well,
dave
http://www.youtube.com/daveiscomedy

The Navy's Area 51 - AUTEC...

has long been a secret but the Comics on Duty have
uncovered the mystery behind the mayhem that takes
place on the Caribbean island of Andros, home to the
sonar capitol of the world...

There are more bars per square mile (two of them) than
downtown Havre, Montana and the folks 'tracking' and
building and protecting the coast know how to have a
good time.

Our first show at the Beach House was marred by a
light drizzle but folks cruised over on the customary
golf carts to hang out on the patio, chomp some
popcorn and drain some beers all the while laughing.

The ocean an emerald green in the bay as manta rays or
possibly leopard rays decided to see what we were up
to as instant bronzer and an ocean breeze helped wash
away the 18 hours of jet lag.

The Coast Guard keeps a close eye on the islands of
the Bahamas and the Seabees are busy building by day
and doing the Truffle Shuffle by night. The civilian
and military personnel were great hosts and driving on
the wrong side of the road proved less difficult with
my right arm in a sling.

The TFC the next evening had a few folks from the
night before treating themselves to another evening of
jokes but the folks who were busy with Bingo the night
before filled the seats and filtered in from the Toto
Lounge.

I also cleaned up in poker. Comedy is rough,
especially with beaches and oceans and palm trees to
partake in during the day. Off to El Salvador,
Honduras and GITMO over the next couple weeks. Stay
tuned...

Hope all is well.

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Adios Fidel, Ola Comics on Duty...

Drake Witham, Gary Brightwell and I will be heading to
Honduras, El Salvador and traveling through Guantanamo
Bay where we shall create comedy to fight Communism
and pray to be funny enough to avoid waterboarding.
All aboard Navy.

I am hoping to run into some folks picked up in Asad
Abad in January '05 (read the archives), just to say
howdy and catch up on old crimes, as well as get my
resume together to interview for the open position of
Dictator on the island famous for baseball and The
Godfather.

Hope all is well in 2008, troops and families alike.
Stay tuned for travel updates.

Check out www.myspace.com/daveiscomedy

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Pack it up and ship it over!

Hope all is well...

From the Family Readiness Group...

Information that might help you with mailing packages
during the deployment. You can order up to
4 kits at one time and as often as you want. It is
free. They get your
address, phone and e-mail. They give you a customer ID
which you present
to them each time you call to re-order. I am sure this
will help if the
post office starts running out of boxes and stuff.

The Postal Service is supporting the troops forward
deployed and will
help with sending things forward. The Phone Number for
this stuff is
1-800-610-8734 then Option 1 for English - then Option
1 again for the
correct representative. Be sure to tell them you want
to register for
"Care Kit 04". These kits are for family members that
want to send
stuff to relatives deployed/stationed overseas - Good
Stuff!
They will ask for a name and address and give you a
customer ID number.
Then the next time you call in, you just give your
customer ID number
and they will know where to send your stuff. Each time
you call they
will send you shipping boxes, tape, etc for shipping
stuff to our troops
- and all the stuff is free!
Some of the flat boxes have "Flat Rate" printed on
them - that means to
ship that box costs $8.95 - no matter what you put in
it - so, if it
weighs 1 ounce or 5 pounds - it costs the same.
Families can call as
often as they need and they will send each delivery to
your home at no
cost.

The package contains:

6 ea 4" x 5" adhesive address labels
6 ea USPS Customs Declaration Forms
6 ea Plastic holders for the Declaration Forms
3 ea Boxes - Flat Rate - 11" x 8.5" x 5.5"
3 ea Boxes - Flat Rate - 11 7/8" x 3 3/8" x 13 5/8"
1 ea Roll of USPS Priority Packing Tape

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A Long Time Comfort...

Families, friends and Marines traveled from around the
country to Anaheim at the end of July for the Marine
Parents United Conference. Drake, Danny, Kira, the Two
Steves and myself headed down for a bit of comedy,
something lighter to share for the folks, from the
folks at Comics on Duty.

The show started a bit late due to the caterer's
decision to serve pasta "omelet style" which in theory
would be nice if it had been ten people to serve at
one time rather than a hundreds. DFAC food it was not
and the wait was well worth the deliciousness that
turned out not to be the main course for the evening.

The program included families sharing, veterans
remembering, artists and all memorializing the fallen,
family and friends. Earlier in the evening we were
given the honor of signing squares; squares for quilts
that are made for every fallen Marine and soldier as
well. Some select Marine moms have taken it upon
themselves to create a comfort quilt for every family
of the fallen. One of the ladies…

One of the gals, her husband didn't understand why she
spent her time creating these quilts, making sure to
have a square of her own in every quilt. A mom's
touch, one who understood and soon too well how
important the squares are. Her husband now pulls the
quilt she made…for their son – out to show everyone. A
sense of personal comfort and caring pervaded the
halls of the hotel.

The comics anxiously awaited in the lobby area, some
stepping inside the conference to see and understand
what was happening inside. Tell a comic he has to
follow a memorial service and see how fast that comic
excuses himself from the gig. Everybody stayed,
understanding that the laughs may play a role not only
for the folks attending but us as well.

Outside for a smoke, I was listening to a group at the
hotel next door fully enjoying their evening at the
pool, fun times with friends. A Marine walked outside
with the aid of a cane. Came out for a smoke. His eyes
noting that what he just saw inside was a memory of a
friend, a time and place he just returned from. He
stood - back straight, eyes wet and a cigarette. I saw
him but heard the folks at the pool. Celebrating their
freedom.

Most all of the crowd stayed, bellies full of
spaghetti omelets, the heartbreak of the fallen, the
comfort of friends and family and even some belly
laughs. All Squares in the weekend for the Marine
Parents United and the quilts of comfort provided to
those who are so very far away from a pool party with
loved ones.

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And I missed it...

I checked in on Tom Foss, Steve Simeone and Steve
Mazan on their continued travels to the Gulf states
(Persian) and Africa.

In Qatar they chowed in the DFAC with Mr. and Mrs.
Bush...the seniors. Not sure if they parachuted in to
Qatar or not but the wind caught the sails of the
crowd on St. Patty's Day as the fellas got a standing
ovation.

I wish I could've been there, if only for the weather.
It was 70 one day and 30 the next here in Michigan.

Another huge thanks to the folks in Spain, Rota and
Seville for taking care of us last week. The beach and
burgers and laughter were much appreciated.

I just finished watching Frontline on PBS. The episode
was about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Confronting the stigma within the military, facing up
to facts about folks in combat and reviewing Congress'
willingness to provide financial support for the VA.

The folks on this last trip were the gateway of
support for those downrange. Away from their families,
their friends. They take care of one another, all
tight knit groups. Vital facets of the team.

Let's hope the coaches put forth the same amount of
effort as they're asking of their team.

I hope all is well.

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Opa des Anglais...

I believe the last time I was on a computer Greece was
the place. Oddly enough they do not allow fat, ugly
girls to go Greek much like the Delta Z´s.

The gals were all head turners, wishing I were a bird.
The evening performance started off slow but as folks
made there way in from the MWR facilities they packed
in the Diamonds and laughed and laughed and laughed.
Tom had a couple folks that saw him in various parts
of the world so it was to catch up.

After a night of laundry we made our way from Crete to
Greece to Macedonia...300 stops in all (get it?) on
our way to London. The four hour drive turned into a 6
hour game of Celebrity Name Game, Simeone winning with
Malcolm X.

The Lunar Eclipse was made even more mysterious as we
passed by Stonehenge that night, all we could see was
the silhouette...of Druids in cloaks checking their
Timex Indiglo watches to see if the stones were still
on time.

The Flix theater had a good turnout. St. Mawgan´s is
a
tourist town on the coast. Though it is the off season
some locals were hauling surf boards to and from the
beach. Just rainy so their wetsuits came in handy for
the stroll through town.

Turn around the next morning for a 14 hour trip to
Spain. A short stop by Stonehenge this time in the sun
to take pictures. Gatwick airport for lunch and coffee
and more coffee and on to Madrid last night. A giant
airport, actually incredible architecturely inside and
again a fight for chestnut brunette´s.

The arrival in Jerez was typified by a giant cut out
of a bull at the airport and the preceding whiff of
manure. Bull fighting is the past time when and during
one sips brandy and wine. The stop at the Base
Restaurant ending up not being fast food because of a
couple drunk sailors not quite sure about their order
or their manners, you can´t say "speak english" while
you are in another country.

The pool is just below the balcony so we may have to
go for a dive but now we are on our way down the coast
to see the castle and church, Rota is apparently known
for the place where Christopher Columbus´ navigator
is
from. Thankfully, he wasn´t that good of a navigator!

Hope all is well.

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